Volunteer doulas add intention and purpose to patients’ final days
By Lisa Brosky
Death, like birth, is part of our human experience. Yet we rarely live our final days with the same intention we apply to the rest of our lives. The Tidewell Foundation wants to help people embrace the experience as a meaningful part of the life journey.
Do you want to die at home, in the hospital, or at your favorite lakeside cottage? Who do you want with you? Do you want music? Do you want a celebration of life?
A Tidewell Hospice specially trained doula can be your guide and voice on such matters.
“We are there for that person and that person only,” said volunteer doula Eric Nielsen. “It’s not about our opinion or what I or anyone else wants. It’s about what the person who is dying wants. We actively listen to the person” and communicate on their behalf.
Often as part of a full care team, Tidewell Hospice’s specially trained end-of-life doulas work with patients to think though and prepare for their death, ensuring the person voices their desires and preferences. They also help facilitate “life legacies” special projects to shape how the dying person will be remembered.
The doula often is part of a patient’s vigil, remaining bedside during the final days and hours, to provide comfort and support for the patient and family. Using tools like guided imagery, doulas can help patients return to a happy memory, a bit of distraction that provides peace.
By helping individuals and families prepare on practical, emotional, and spiritual levels, doulas bring meaning and comfort to the experience.
Finding passion in service
Tidewell’s end-of-life doulas speak about finding their passion and enriching their lives through their service.
Volunteer Robin Colamarino said she was able to help a patient’s son and few friends reconnect “their hearts with hers.” She called it a pleasure “to help her plan the ending days of her human life with dignity compassion and love.”
Lindsay Currie provided connection for a patient who had no family in the area and little in common with those around him. He thanked her for bringing “sunshine into his life.”
Penelope Bodry-Sanders epitomized a doula’s role when her patient’s wish to die alone in her bed, calling anything else unnecessary “sentimentality,” took Penelope by surprise.
She remembered the voice of her instructor, “Meet them where they are.” She added that her patient loved her laughs and smiles.
Eric Nielson, volunteer for Blue Butterfly, Tidewell Hospice’s grief program for children, said he entered the doula training because “it’s about being in service to others and being in service to God.”
“We need to be kinder to each other, more loving, more understanding.”
Volunteer services such as the Doula training are made possible by donor support to the Tidewell Foundation.
